Tuesday, March 29, 2011

A Roller Coaster Kind of Spiritual Walk

I love roller coasters! I love to feel the wind in my hair and I love to scream and release all my suppressed emotions. My screams turn into uncontrollable laughter as the momentum of the train increases, giving me freedom of expression like I cannot get anywhere else in this world. My heart pounds in my chest at the anticipation of that next turn or loop-tee-loop. It’s hard to believe that a three or four minute ride could lift your spirits so high that you would feel exhilarated long after the ride is over and that you would yearn for the next opportunity to ride again.




Photo compliments of http://www.photoeverywhere.co.uk/west/usa/slides/rollercoaster430.htm

My walk with the Lord is much like a ride on a roller coaster. Now I don’t mean it is full of ups and downs and high-pitched hills and drastic drops. Well, maybe it is a little of that. But what I mean is – well, let me explain.

You know how when you are riding along on that track and you know that curve or that upside-down spiral that scares you to death is coming up and you are convinced that you that you are about to have a heart attack?

You fear for just a moment, even though you know your thoughts are preposterous, like the train will come off the track? For a minute, you feel like maybe, just maybe, you are about to die. Of course, your fears are totally unfounded. In just a flash of time, you are whipped around that bend or thrust down that hill or twisted like a pretzel and then – finally – you are upright and back on the straight and safe track and you can catch your breath.

Well, that is how I feel about my spiritual walk with the Lord. When I am burdened about something or praying for something to happen in my life and it is just not happening swiftly enough, I get this desperate feeling. An urgency crawls up my esophagus and threatens to choke me. I start to feel like that curve is coming up and my life is going to fly off that track into oblivion. God is not acting quickly enough for my liking and I feel, just for a moment, that He is not going to save me from going off the track or, more specifically, that He is not going to give me what I want.

Here is the thing – as long as I am seeking God’s will for my life, He will not let that train go off the track. He will not let me fall. He will answer my prayers. His answer will be “yes,” “no,” or “wait.” He may allow the ride to go on a little bit longer than I think I can stand, allowing me to experience a few more loop-tee-loops or spirals or mountainous hills and deep valleys. But He is the conductor! He knows at which moment I need to have the things I have prayed for. He knows the perfect time to open that door I have prayed open. He knows when my heart has had all the anticipation it can stand and when I am ready for and in desperate need of that train coming to a bit of safe track.

In the last month, while I was fasting, I got to see the Lord do some amazing things in the lives of some of my friends. He provided house payments. He provided clarity on relationships for some. He provided job interviews for others and even a job for one friend. He provided a way out of addiction for another. He provided financial blessings for my family and even some great news from my publisher for me!

So I kind of like having a roller coaster spiritual walk with my Jesus. My heart gets to pound uncontrollably as I see Him working in my life and in the lives of those I love. My blood pumps ferociously through my body. I get to scream and laugh and even wiggle in my seat as I see His will revealed – even when the answer is not what I wanted or expected. And when that portion of the ride is over and it is time to get off the train, I am ready to stand in line for the next ride because a ride with the Lord is worth all the ups and downs, twists and turns, lunges and lurches. Oh, life is so exciting when you ride a roller coaster with the Lord!

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Sunday, July 18, 2010

Always Homeschooling

One thing I love about homeschooling is that we always seem to be in a perpetual state of learning. Even when we don’t think we’re learning and we don’t care to learn, we learn.

A couple of weeks ago, my husband found some eggs hidden in the soil of the garden our church has planted for the community we live in. He brought them home to hatch. Of course, I was sure that they were snake eggs and didn’t want anything to do with them. He placed them in a fish bowl, covered it with plastic wrap, poked a few holes for air, and then just watched them. Nothing happened. Until last night, that is. Suddenly, we discovered little skinks hatching out of them. They were so cute!

This came on the coattails of the fish tank full of tadpoles my husband collected from our pond…

Today, my daughter and I were releasing the little skinks at the edge of the woods by our house when she sat back on the ground onto a yellow jacket!!! We thought she had sat on a pinecone at first. Within minutes she was having an allergic reaction and it scared us to death. Her eyes swelled and she broke out in hives, etc. A few Benadryl did the trick, though. She’s sore and drowzy, but okay.

Tonight while my husband was working in our garden, he found a shrew. Of course, he captured it! He brought it in and my son began playing with it. Until it nipped at him. No blood drawn, so that’s good. We put the little booger in an old hamster cage and fed it some earth worms. It was really cute. When my daughter got in, my son proceeded to show it to her. What an exciting event…until it escaped through the bars of the cage. Praise the Lord we were able to get the cage outside and release the little guy before he turned his teeth on my son again. Imagine if we had gotten up in the morning to find the cage empty!!!!

So, I guess we can just say this is a day in the life of a homeschooler, huh? Even when your kids are 14, 17, and 43, I guess they never stop liking little creatures and exploring the great outdoors…yellow jacket stings and all.

Recycled Mom

Have you ever felt that if one more thing went wrong in your life, you would jump off the planet? Have you ever thought God must have a candid camera and all the saints are having a blast watching you go through your daily life? I know that God does not sit up there waiting to strike us down for every act of disobedience, but He does have a bizarre way of luring us back into His arms.

On a cool September evening in 1999, the phone rang as I sat visiting with my father. The shaky voice of my husband on the other end of the line revealed to me that our lives were about to change. The company he worked for had unexpectedly closed its doors. He was now unemployed. Since we are a one-income family, and we homeschool, the thought of having no income was unsettling. However, the lack of income proved to be the least of our worries. The following Sunday morning our pastor collected a spontaneous love offering that met our financial needs for the next three months. I thought that things would be okay.

The long winter we faced with its short days and seemingly endless nights was a nightmare. As the children and I continued school as usual, my husband spent three miserable months looking for a job, followed by months of agony in a job not suited to him. He suffered a great deal emotionally from the job loss. Although I am by nature quite strong, the extensive months of being a fortress for everyone had become too much. The once pleasurable tasks of being a wife and mother were now tedious. More mentally exhausted than a soldier at the end of a long war (please don’t take offense to this scenario if you have a loved one involved in the war currently), I found my reserve of strength gone. I no longer wanted to be a caregiver.

Spring arrived and I struggled to get through our days of school and rejoiced when our summer break finally came. I resisted even talking about beginning our new school year. I took a break from anything that involved instructing my children. My heart and soul went on vacation. My calling in life had become a prison sentence.

As the hot days of summer languidly passed, a great chasm grew between my children and me. They needed their friends more than they needed me. Their hearts had found a replacement for me. I was blind to the reasons why this was happening. I struggled because I truly felt called to have my children at home, yet that was no longer my desire. Why was I considering a nine-month boarding school with a three-month summer camp? Why could I not face another day at home with my children?

Caring friends often asked me, “What does his job loss and struggle to find another career have to do with you not wanting to be a mother?” I felt angry because no one understood me and because my husband still struggled with what had happened to him. I needed him to be my supporter. It was easy to take my anger out on the kids. Initiating the simplest act of love became suffocating.

What made my dilemma even harder was the lack of support from others. I could not blame anyone. This was my calling. No one can understand a calling unless it is his or her own. I found no comfort from those with whom I spoke. In fact, I sensed that some had even been waiting for this day to come. I felt torn because my desires were to give up and take what I thought would be the easy road. I do not mean to say that having a full-time job and placing children in school is easy, nor do I mean to imply that it is a sin. What I am saying is that if God calls you to do a task, it is a sin if you fail to do it. My struggle was between my will and God’s.

Although I was weary, the only thing I knew to do was to set my start date for school, and trust the Lord to give me back the joy I had lost. Before that could happen, though, I had to ask forgiveness for closing myself off from everyone and for feeling like a martyr. I had to stop expecting anything from anyone and start relying on God totally for my strength.

Our first day of school that fall was awkward. Being back in the classroom, I tried to do more than just go through the motions of teaching. Amazingly, by the third day I felt like I was wearing my favorite pair of sweats. God gently pulled me back into doing what He wants me to do. He used His rod to discipline me. My misery had been part of my punishment.

Throughout the school year, I so often fail to take my burdens to the Lord. I ask advice from everyone I know and try to solve problems on my own. When nothing works, I then turn to God. He says He will make our burdens light, so why do we insist on carrying them ourselves? I see now that if I take everything to the Lord daily, He will give me the strength I need to face whatever He sends my way.

In a sense, I had become a Jonah. I ran from what I knew God wanted me to do, only to return to it in the end. In my rebellion, I stopped teaching my children, and failed to be the kind of mother, wife, friend and Christian sister that I should be. I became a sponge only wanting to receive comfort instead of giving comfort to others.

The next spring, I found myself going through many of the same emotions as in the previous year. At the time, we attended a church where there were no other homeschoolers. We also had spent a winter full of sickness and isolation. Loneliness had gotten the best of me and a longing for normalcy was knocking at my heart’s door. Once again, I considered letting that be the last year I homeschooled. I looked into working for local Christian schools so that my children could attend at no charge.

Once again, I placed my burden in the hands of the Lord. I prayed that if He wanted me to continue on this path, that He would give me the desire to persevere. It seemed like no time at all had passed before I was searching through catalogs for innovative ways to teach my children, buying used curriculum off the Internet, and consulting friends about their techniques. I received much encouragement and advice that truly touched my heart. Unless the Lord creates a new path for our family, I will be teaching my children until they graduate.

Through all of this, God was a gentle shepherd to me. He took His staff and led me along the pathway He wanted me to follow. My trials and my discovery of the blessings of obedience to the Lord were painful, yet necessary journeys.

Originally appeared in Homeschooling Today”s Homeschooling Helper in January 2007.

Homeschooling for a Lifetime

So, I still don’t know how twelve years goes by so fast. It seems like yesterday that I ordered my first box of A Beka books and Saxon Math. We were so excited to be teaching our daughter first grade and our son four year Pre-K. Everyone wanted to know how long we were going to do this thing called homeschooling. You know, we’re strange for doing such a thing, right? I mean, really, aren’t we taking our kids’ lives in our own hands? Quite the contrary. We were taking our kids’ lives out of the government’s hands and placing them into God’s hands.
After the first year, things got tougher. Teaching the curriculum wasn’t so bad, but dealing with attitudes and selfishness and budding personalities challenged me as a teacher. I was quite unprepared for having the kids home all day and having to play teacher. That’s the free spirit in me. I’d rather sit around and read or write or talk or watch movies than have to work. So, I have tried very hard throughout the last twelve years to make work as fun as it can be. Life is too short to be a stiff neck.
Of course, as we got into high school in our teaching phase, I realized that many things needed to be stepped up a bit. I have often felt inadequate and like I was leaving something out where it came to the kids and their education. But I’ve had many homeschooling mentors along the way encourage me to continue to teach and guide the kids to follow their hearts while chasing after God’s dream for their lives.
The reasons I began homeschooling seem to have faded as time has gone on, replaced with newer, more urgent reasons. At first, I wanted to protect my children from the influence of the world. Later, I wanted to make sure they received an education worthy of having. Now, that the first leg of my journey is complete and I am finished teaching my daughter her high school work, I see that there is so much more to teach this budding young woman to prepare her for the future God has in store for her. I see that my role in her life as homeschool teacher of math and english and science and history may be finished, but a teacher I will remain for as long as I live and as long as she is willing to listen. With only a few years left to homeschool my son, I see that there is so much more to teach; so much more to learn. And I fear that it cannot be done in three years. Even after he has walked down the aisle of homeschool graduation, real or hypothetical, he will still need to be guided by his dad and by me.
Even when we’re faced with an empty nest, I seriously doubt that it will remain unvisited by our two. For you see, investing twelve years of your life in a child’s education and maturation, spending every day together, yields rewards that will be seen and heard and felt for many generations to come. Every time I start to think that my kids may have missed out on something like the prom, or being socialized, or being in AP classes, or being class President, I am reminded by a non-homeschooling friend that my kids are pretty great, by nothing more than a casual compliment of how special they are. So, while my kids may have missed out on some of the above, they have been spared from repeated broken hearts, the need to fight for the attentions of the opposite sex, compromised values, bodies soiled by drugs and alcohol, and so much more.
Homeschooling becomes about more than just reading, writing, and arithmetic. It becomes about life skills, matters of the heart, discernment, teaching kids to be leaders for the Lord regardless of the rewards or penalties, and so much more. I see that while we do have to get them prepared for the “real world” or working and surviving, etc., our main goal should be preparing them for their life’s call. Although knowing how to solve a trigonometry problem by using the law of cosines is important in trig class, it probably won’t be used much later in life by the average person. Knowing how to diagram sentences will help us all to be better communicators, but if we’re not communicating the message of Christ to the lost and to our wayward friends, then it doesn’t matter how well our words are spoken.
It hasn’t always been easy, but looking back, I can see that it was totally worth it.

Monday, November 5, 2007

Hey, Who Put the Milk in the Cabinet?

Have you ever stopped yourself just before you put the milk in the cabinet and the cereal in the fridge? Have you ever caught yourself putting hair gel on your toothbrush or spraying deodorant on your hair? If you have ever had one of those days, you may be a tad bit overwhelmed with the details of your life and desperately need organization.

I have known many homeschool moms, myself included at times, who fill their days with everything but school because there is so much they have to do. We often find ourselves using public school hours to get our errands, doctor visits, dental check-ups, grocery shopping and haircuts done, just so we can avoid the crowds. We vow to get school done when we return home. Yet, do we ever get it done? What about when the phone rings, do you look at the caller id and answer the call even though you know you should wait until later to return the call? We easily fall into these very tempting traps. Yes, I said trap. In order to bring organization into our lives, we must be able to spot the traps and resist them. As homeschoolers, it is vitally important that we put the education of our children at the top of our list. Since we are taking that responsibility upon ourselves when we sign a Declaration of Intent to Home Educate, and legally we are obligated to educate our children, then we must not neglect this part of our lives. Yet, how do we find the time to put homeschooling at the top of the priority list when there are so many things to do?

I have found that if I have too many chores undone, it is hard for me to concentrate on school. I have to get some things done beforehand. When my schoolroom is out of order, my day often follows suit. So, what is the solution? How can you organize your life and keep it that way in the midst of every day living? The hardest way, but by far the best way, is simply to just do it. Set aside the time and do it. People have accused me numerous times of not sitting and relaxing enough. I have to admit, I am guilty of that. Usually the culprit for this busyness is my lack of organization, poor planning or over scheduling. If I think about what I have to do for the day and divide my time wisely, I can safely and efficiently get everything done.

There is so much to do in one day, especially if you take into account the time needed to study God’s Word, pray, exercise, grocery shop, cook, clean, take care of the emotional and physical needs of little ones, and do school. These things are just the basics for everyday life. You know the other things on your plate, which most likely include various ministries and extra-curricular activities. Is it possible to do it all in a neat and orderly fashion without pulling your hair out?
The first thing I try to do is establish a routine. I plan my steps as if they are costing me money. After all, they say time is money, right? If I am on the way to the kitchen, I carry the laundry basket with me. When I am down stairs in my office, I start a load of laundry. If I am getting the mail, I carry a bag of trash with me. If I am running to the store, I go on the days we have play day with our group and I go to the library and the bank while I am out. When I am at the store, I get about four gallons of milk and an extra loaf of bread, because we all know those are the two things that we all run out to the store for mid-week.

In years past, on Monday mornings, I would laboriously sit down at my computer and peck away at the keyboard, constructing a lesson plan for the week. The problem with that technique is that inevitably, life occurred and it would take two hours to make my plan. Meanwhile my children were becoming absorbed in something much more interesting than school and it was nearly impossible to bring them back. By the time I rounded them up, it was lunchtime! For that reason, I tried to do the lesson plans during the weekend, but that was no fun because Dad was home and our time with him is too valuable to spend it on lesson plans. The weekends are always full of visits to the grandparents, church, and other social events, so usually I found myself back in front of the computer on Monday morning again. If you have a part time job, have your house up for sale, as we did one year, or have an elderly or sick family member to care for, this only complicates things.
Therefore, this year, I vowed to do things differently. I ordered my books in the spring and began working immediately to devise a year-at-a-glance lesson plan for each subject. Now, let me interject something here. Some curriculum publishers sell lesson plans for their curriculum, and many people purchase these. I have never found these to be helpful because there is usually more information than I can process and far too many class time exercises to accomplish. I prefer to make up my own lesson plans. I will explain how I made this one-year plan at the end of this article.

How to make a year-long lesson planner:

Create a table in your word processing program. Click the tab at the top that says Table. Insert a table, choosing one hundred and fifty rows and three columns.

The first column heading reads Date, the second reads Assignment and the last reads Completed.

Type Lesson # in the assignment column on row one, copy it and paste it on the rest of the rows.
Go to View, then Header and Footer. In the Header section, type the student’s name, subject name and the school year range.

Click File, Save As, and name the file by the subject or whatever you want to name it.
Go back to the Header and change the name of the subject to the next subject, then click File, Save As, and rename that file. Repeat until you have a file for each subject, for each child.

Make one more chart, if you wish. This chart will have the balance of thirty days. This will help you to keep a record of what your student accomplished on the days you did not have seatwork.
Now it is time to begin adding in your lessons. Take the number of lessons per book, plus quizzes and tests, and divide them by one hundred and fifty days. This plan will give you thirty days for field trips, co-op days and/or catch-up days. Once you know what lessons need to be done on which days, you are ready to fill in your chart.

After the word Lesson # type the number of the lesson. You may choose to write the page numbers instead. This is your decision. You may wish to change the word Lesson to Quiz or Test # on the appropriate lines when it is time for those assignments.

After you have done each step, you are ready to print and place the lessons in your notebook, with each subject in a different section. You can give your child a notebook with the entire year in advance, or just give him his daily assignments. Whatever works best for you and your child is what I recommend. If you decide to give your child his assignments daily, that’s fine, too.

As assignments are completed, the students are responsible for checking off their work. This builds accountability and helps students to take charge of their own educations.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Mom's Beef Hash Recipe

My mom used to make this dish when I was little. I have adapted it a throughout the years. It's great. The fam loves it.

Brown 2 lbs. ground beef
While browning, season with dried onion flakes, pepper, and LOTS of California style garlic salt. (Yummy) You can also add paprika if you want to.
Drain grease

Peel and cut eight potatoes and six carrots. Cut them into the size of your thumb. Cover with water and cook them until tender. (About 30 minutes). I use my pressure cooker and they are done in just a few minutes. You can also leave them cooking in the crock pot all day.

After the carrots and potatoes are tender, add the ground beef. Bring to a boil and continue to boil until a gravy develops. You may have to add a little water here and there. Sometimes I mash up the potatoes a little to help with the gravy.

Pour over toast and eat. It is a great winter dish.